Hockeyhead

Question:  Where is the best place to find 18-year old boys inserting stiff 8″ tubes into their mouth so that they can blow them?

Answer:  Why that would be the NHL Draft Combine of course.

TSN has been blogging the NHL’s draft combine all day, so if you want to know how many sit-ups John Tavares can do (46), or how Evander Kane fares on the bench press (17 reps) then you can go take a read for yourself.  We’re just going to take a look at some pictures here.

These pictures from past combines sure leave a lot to the imagination.  Is somebody stealing shirts at these things?  Christ, there’s not a shirt in sight on any of these boys.

What in the name of masculinity does the NHL plan to do with these co-eds prospects?

Let’s have a look:

I don’t know what Steven Stamkos did at last year’s combine, but it must have been pretty bad to be sent to the corner to play with big balls:

Andy fucking Samberg attended the combine to show the boys how to properly blow some pipe:

Oh sweet Jesus, that’s Drew Doughty being ravaged by that fuck machine:

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Canada defeated Sweden 5-1 in the gold medal game of the World Junior Championship.  The Canadians added empty netters from Jordan Eberle and Cody Hodgson to ice the Swedes for good.  Dustin Tokarski stopped 39 shots, looking calm and composed in his best outing of the tournament.

Hodgson and probable first overall pick John Tavares finished tied for the tournament scoring title with 16 points a piece.

The final was chippier than expected, and tempers were hot after Stefan Della Rovere took a rather cheap shot at Sweden’s goaltender Jacob Markstrom who was skating to the bench on a delayed penalty call.  Markstrom wandered away from his crease several times and paid the price on a few of his trips.

Markstrom had been one of the tournament’s brightest stars up until tonight’s gold medal game.  Pat Quinn came under some fire for his decision to stick with Tokarski in goal after he had allowed 5 goals against the Russians on Saturday.  Quinn’s patience paid some handsome dividends, as Tokarski was the difference in this one.

When fans vote for all-stars you can guarantee one thing, inconsistencies.  There are three players atop the NHL’s scoring race from the Eastern Conference; only two of them are going to be starting the all-star game.  Four out of six players voted starters for the East are from the Montreal Canadiens.

Alex Ovechkin is second in league scoring with 53 points, and is arguably the best player in the world.  Alex Kovalev is on pace for about 60 points this season and has been openly criticized by both the media and his own coach.  Kovalev was voted as a starting forward for the Eastern Conference all-star team.

If I have my times tables correct, and I do, then Ovechkin’s 27 goals are three times Kovalev’s 9 goals.  It gets worse, Mike fuckin’ Komisarek will also be starting.  Ovechkin’s teammate Mike Green and former Hab Mark Streit (leading all defensemen in scoring) would make much more logical selections as starters.  Then again, there isn’t much collective logic among these voters.

Four out of six starters for the East will be from Montreal, only Carey Price and Andrei Markov are actually worthy of the selection.  I love Komisarek’s hard-hitting style, but we’re talking about a game where players tend to pussy-foot around the ice… we want the goals.

On Tonight:

Is there even a conversation to be had here?  The only hockey game I’ll be watching tonight is the Canada vs. Sweden gold medal game.  Saturday night’s Canada and Russia semi-final was one of the greatest games I’ve ever watched in the World Junior Championship, and a pleasant renewal of hockey’s greatest rivalry.

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I guess the thrill of Sidney Crosby dropping the gloves inspired a few other superstars around the league to chuck some knuckles on Saturday.  Alexander Semin goes schoolyard pussy on Marc Staal’s back and shoulders.  You have to see this:

I would hesitate to call Wade Redden a superstar, he did do a pretty good number on the kisser of Chris Clark.  Doug Weight battled San Jose’s Christian Ehroff as well.  Doug Weight is a fuck-ass and the last time I tried to talk to him he wouldn’t look up from his iPhone.  Head over to hockeyfights.com to see the clips.

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Now, on a more serious note: please take some time to read a great article by Monika Moravan on the Don Sanderson tragedy from The Stats Man blog.  It’s a breath of fresh air on the topic of hockey violence.

Also, I’ve come across a great initiative by Adam Sherlip.  Adam calls himself “The Hockey Volunteer”, and he is teaching the game of hockey to disenfranchised children around the world.  You can find out more about The Hockey Volunteer on Adam’s blog.