Hockeyhead

The Pittsburgh Penguins and Vancouver Canucks.  That’s your Stanley Cup Final according to Hockeyhead.  We’ll let the play of those two teams explain why we’ve chosen them to square off in the big dance.  What we can offer you right now though is a reason why the 14 other teams in the playoffs won’t make it.

Boston Bruins:  They’re big, scary, loaded with skill, and historically bad versus the Montreal Canadiens in the playoffs.  Oh, and Marc Savard is terribly one-dimensional and only excited about skating the warm-up on national television without his helmet.

Montreal Canadiens:  Let’s be serious, they’re going to need a miracle to beat the Bruins.  Mathieu Schneider’s gear being in Boston does not constitute a miracle.

Washington Capitals:  Jose Theodore.

New Jersey Devils:  Brodeur was a bag-of-holes down the stretch.  You never, ever, ever count the Devils out, but it’s a steep up-hill battle for them this year.

Carolina Hurricanes:  The NHL’s hottest team went 13-3-2 to finish the season, they were nearly unbeatable after re-acquiring… Erik Cole?  They could make a surprise appearance in the Eastern Conference Final, but we’ve already seen their best this season.

New York Rangers:  They have a few of the pieces required to make a substantial Cup-run.  Decent offense, great goaltending, but Wade Redden isn’t going to win shit.

Philadelphia Flyers:  Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Scott Hartnell grow a bushy red beard to match that curly mop, but the Penguins are going to take care of them.

San Jose Sharks:  The one true wild-card in the West.  History says that Joe Thornton and crew disappear in the post-season, but Rob Blake, Dan Boyle, and Brad Lukowich have got the bling to make you think otherwise.  Claude Lemieux.

Anaheim Ducks:  Fuck off.

Detroit Red Wings:  The road to the Stanley Cup always goes through Detroit, you can get there from Canada via the Windsor tunnel, or through the gaping holes in Detroit’s net.

Columbus Blue Jackets:  Mason and Nash are awesome, no argument here, but just making it to the post-season was success.  Don’t get greedy Hitchcock, you’ll put North America to sleep.

St. Louis Blues:  Luongo.

Chicago Blackhawks:  Someday soon there will be a rematch of the 1992 Stanley Cup Final, just not this year.

Calgary Flames:  They have zero powerplay goals in their last 42 chances.  Mike Keenan hates powerplays, and goalies, and seeing people succeed.